Ever have that moment when your voice goes missing right when it matters most? Maybe find yourself saying yes when every fiber is whisper‑shouting no? Or maybe you overexplain until you forget the original point. Or perhaps you crack a joke to dodge discomfort, or go quiet and hope the moment passes without calling you by name. That’s the “voice wound”—a set of learned protections that maybe kept you safe but now keep you small. It shows up as people‑pleasing, perfectionism, avoidance, or a quick yes/no just to end the tension.

In this episode of MagnifEssence in Motion, I chat about this topic with certified life and confidence coach and international best‑selling author Dianna Leeder. I think you’ll find we go deeper than “just be brave.” We explore how understanding our behaviors, thoughts, and avoidance tactics gives us real choice. Not louder. Not harsher. Just clearer, kinder, more you—without the three‑day vulnerability hangover.

You know, our biology can explain a lot of this. When we sense threat—even social threat—our nervous system shifts into protection. In that state, access to a steady, connected voice narrows; we’re built to survive, not necessarily to be eloquent. The good news is we can cue more safety on purpose: a slower exhale, feeling our feet, orienting to the room, or softening our gaze tells the body, “We’re okay,” and our voice comes back online. Naming what’s happening also helps. Studies on “name it to tame it” show that putting simple words to feelings (I’m tense; I’m afraid to disappoint) quiets the alarm system and gives our thinking brain the mic again. And when we treat ourselves like an ally instead of a critic, our courage goes up. Self‑compassion research links that kinder stance with less fear of negative evaluation and more willingness to take healthy risks—like saying a kind, clear no, or a boundaried yes. In short: calm the body, name the truth, add compassion, and your voice has somewhere safe to land.

Here are some of the topics Dianna and I cover in this conversation:

• Understand the Voice Wound. A voice wound is the learned pattern that nudges us to people‑please, overexplain, perfect, joke it away, or go silent to avoid conflict. A quick yes or no can end the tension in the moment, but it rarely heals the pattern underneath. We’ll explore how to acknowledge the protector that once kept us safe—then kindly take back the keys.
• Know Where You Are and Create the Pause. We’ll map where you are on your voice journey—avoidant, reactive, tentative, or grounded—and notice what actually moves the needle. By spotting early tells like shallow breath, tight shoulders, or racing thoughts, you can catch the moment before you react. That micro‑pause helps you choose a response through a kinder lens that separates who you are from old habits and history.
• Practice Conscious, Compassionate, Clear Expression. We’ll use a 30‑second Orient–Breathe–Name–Choose reset to steady your system in real conversations. Values and boundaries become your north star, guiding what you say, how you say it, and when you stop. You’ll build low‑stakes reps with small truths and lean on simple scripts—a kind and clear no, a boundaried yes, “let me circle back,” and a clean way to name your need.
• Integrate, Repair, and Build Support. When we overspeak or go silent, we’ll repair without the shame spiral—acknowledge, clarify, and recommit. You’ll learn how to enroll allies and accountability while keeping your own permission in your own pocket. We’ll cap it with a live micro‑exercise to craft one sentence of honest, doable truth that fits your current capacity.

Healing the voice wound isn’t about becoming fearless or perfectly articulate; it’s about becoming accurate—aligning your words with your needs, values, and boundaries so you can speak from center rather than from reflex. With Dianna Leeder, we shift from “push yourself to speak up” to a compassionate, conscious approach that helps you understand your patterns, soothe your system, and choose language that’s kind and clear. You’ll leave with a simple map for where you are on your voice journey, a few tools to settle your nerves in the moment, and everyday practices that build confidence without bulldozing your sensitivity.

Please watch the recording, and remember to leave a comment in the space below.