Most of us have heard that we “need to love ourselves,” but very few of us were ever actually taught how—especially if we grew up in homes where love felt conditional, confusing, or even unsafe. In this episode of MagnifEssence in Motion, I am joined by intuitive spiritual energy healer Kristi Borst for a heart-centered, grounded, and very human conversation about moving from self-criticism to genuine self-love. We explore how early wounds, family patterns, and ancestral beliefs can quietly train us to be our own worst enemy—and how we can begin to unravel those patterns in a gentle, compassionate way. If the phrase “self-love” feels abstract, cheesy, or reserved for people who spend way more time on vision boards than you do, this conversation is for you.

While self-love might sound like a purely emotional or spiritual idea, it is strongly supported by modern research. Studies on self-compassion, including the work of Dr. Kristin Neff and others, show that people who treat themselves with kindness and understanding experience less anxiety, depression, and chronic stress. When we ease up on perfectionism and harsh self-judgment, our nervous system calms, our resilience grows, and we are better able to regulate our emotions in challenging situations. Self-acceptance is also linked with healthier relationships and better communication because we are less driven by approval-seeking and more able to show up as our authentic selves. Research further suggests that people with a solid sense of self-worth are more likely to engage in positive health habits like regular movement, restorative sleep, and mindful eating. So when we talk about self-love, we are not just talking about “feeling good”—we are talking about a powerful, science-supported foundation for mental, emotional, and physical well-being.

Here are some of the key themes and talking points we discuss:

• Recognizing the Harshest Critic. Many of us internalized the voices of narcissistic, critical, or emotionally unavailable caregivers and now run those same scripts on ourselves. We look at how to recognize that inner critic as a learned pattern—not your true voice—and begin to loosen its grip.
• Love and Healing in Your Shadows. The parts of you that feel broken, too sensitive, or “not enough” are often hiding the very love and wisdom you have been looking for. We share how reconnecting with your wounded inner child can transform shame and self-rejection into acceptance, tenderness, and wholeness.
•  “Baby Steps” to Real Self-Love. Instead of forcing a giant leap from self-loathing to self-love, we explore small, doable shifts: gentler self-talk, simple daily practices, and tiny moments of self-approval. These baby steps add up, gradually rewiring how you see and support yourself from the inside out.
• Flipping the Script on Old Patterns. Some of the criticism or emotional neglect you carry did not start with you; it may be part of a multi-generational pattern. We talk about how you can become a “pattern breaker,” interrupting those old dynamics and choosing a new legacy of compassion, respect, and inner safety.
• Self-Love is Not Selfish. Many of us were told we were “too much,” “not enough,” or “full of ourselves” whenever we simply shone as who we are. We clarify the difference between healthy self-love and narcissism, and offer ways you can claim your worth and gifts without ego inflation or shutting down.

If you have ever felt like you are doing “all the work” on yourself but still struggle with that relentless inner critic, this is an invitation to try another approach—one that is softer, kinder, and ultimately more effective. You do not have to come perfectly healed, spiritually advanced, or even fully convinced that self-love is possible for you. Just bring your curiosity, your questions, your lived experience, and a willingness to take one or two baby steps of your own. Together, we explore how you can shift from being your own worst enemy to becoming your best ally—and how that change can open the door to deeper joy, wellness, and inner freedom than you may have realized was possible.

Please watch the recording, and remember to leave a comment in the space below.